Women in the Word Wednesday: Change

I hate change.  I don't know of very many people who love it.  We have had some change in our lives lately with jobs, friend relocations, kids' routines/needs, etc. 

Why do we hate change?  I think it is mostly selfish. . .

*We don't like to take the time to re-establish relationships or make new ones
*We dislike a new routine, which upsets our ongoing schedule and challenges our priorities
*We will miss the constant support and encouragement we have from relationships that change in location or situation
*We like being comfortable and knowing what to expect
*We fear trials or difficult situations that might arise with change
*We don't fully trust God with our plans

That last point is the main problem if we are Christians, and we all struggle with this.  The top five are issues, but the foundation of the problem is that we don't completely trust God and accept that He knows best.  We think what we want is best, and what our flesh wants is comfort and ease.

If we look at examples in the Bible, God often stretches His children with change and unknown circumstances or trials.  From Genesis to Revelation, we are called to trust as God sovereignly orchestrates change and direction.  Ask Abraham, Joseph, Moses, Joshua, Elijah, Mary, Jesus, Peter, the disciples, or Paul, just to name a few. 

If you are facing change today, think about it with an eternal perspective.  Know, if you are a Christian, it comes directly from God's hand and has been lovingly and sovereignly assigned to you.  It is often not easy, but he gives us tools of peace, comfort and much grace in the stretching process.  Trust with joy and a firm grasp of God's faithfulness.

He is growing you in the likeness of your Savior, Christ Jesus.  What could be more beautiful and good?

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Women in the Word Wednesday: Sensitivity to Sin

My oldest has an extreme sensitivity to hair on his skin.  Haircuts are quite an ordeal.  We cut his hair at home with the TV distracting him.  He is old enough that he tries to keep his tears under control, but it is hard for him.  After the haircut, he has an immediate bath, and then we transfer him from the bath to the shower to scrub and wash off any stray hairs the bath missed.  We towel him off well, followed by lotion to soothe his skin, which indeed has little red bumps of irritation blanketing it from the short exposure to hairs during the haircut.  After lotion, we end with a good dusting of baby powder, brushing off any stubborn stray hairs that escaped the rest of the process.

If that weren't thorough enough, he refuses a hair cape during the haircut, so he wears onek of his larger T-shirts during the haircut.  After each haircut, I wash the shirt a couple of times and then stick it in the back of his closet.  If for some reason we accidentally pull out a "haircut" shirt for him to wear to bed, he tells me within thirty seconds that his shirt is "itchy" without even realizing it was indeed used during his last haircut.

Today was haircut day, and I thought again about how extremely sensitive he is to hair on his skin.  During my quiet time, I thought of that analogy with our sin.  When we are seeking God's will, praying, meditating on scripture, regularly reading His Word, and really seeking please God, we are sensitive to sin--we can be as sensitive to it as my son is to his haircuts.  We immediately regret impatient thoughts or wince at resentment that we might allow to creep into our heart.  The slightest sin can irritate us and get our attention.  We stay away from situations that tempt us to sin the way my son steers clear of even the shirts from his haircuts. The Holy Spirit steers us away from unrighteousness as we seek to listen to Him and do His will.

When we are neglecting quiet time, enveloping all our time with worldly distractions, and trying to tiptoe into gray areas and slippery slopes with which we feel conviction, we dull our sensitivity to sin.  We get spiritually lazy.  We get too comfortable with sins such as unkind words, laziness, lack of contentedness, selfish thoughts, or prideful behavior. 

We have to put on our spiritual armor each day and use the tools God gives us to fight our flesh.  Sin shouldn't feel comfortable to a Christian woman.  It should cause us much uncomfort and irritation.

I pray that I can rely on God, pursue holiness and be as spiritually sensitive to sin as my little buddy is to his haircuts.

Ephesians 6:10-18 "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance,"

Women in the Word Wednesday: Purposeful Acts of Kindness

We have all heard of "random acts of kindness."  I love the idea behind extending kindness to strangers and in unexpected ways--paying for the person behind you at the drive thru, sticking change in someone's parking meter for them, etc., especially if you can share God in the act of kindness.  However, I also am a BIG fan of planning out kind acts and following through on those plans.  God is a fan of that too.  Hebrews 10:24-25 says, "And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near."

If God asks me to consider, or think about, how I can stir up others to love and kindness, I KNOW He wants me to do the same in my own life.  Galatians 6:10 says, "So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith." 

Be purposeful in kindness to people today, especially to brothers and sisters in Christ.  My husband and I, though it seems quite uncreative, SCHEDULE time into our weeks to have people for dinner, to visit others in need, etc.  We even budget and plan for giving to people in financial need.  In fact, we are so busy, that if we didn't plan and be purposeful, we would fall short of what we could do.  Even in planning, I know we miss opportunities and get lazy.

Kindness doesn't always have to be a sudden emotional rush or in the moment decision.  Kindness can be planned and purposeful.  There is a place for both kinds of kindness, and we tend to rest on those "in the moment" opportunities, getting lazy with any effort to be the hands and feet of Christ to those around us. 

What kindness can you extend today?

Women in the Word Wednesday: Strength in Weakness

I love the story of David and Goliath.  It is so often told by people the way we would read Goldilocks to our kids, but we have to pause and remember that this TRUE, BIBLICAL account happened.  Small, young David stood up to a mighty, GIANT warrior with complete faith in God and what he could do with the unequitable situation.  David knew God loved to take unfavorable circumstances and turn them into a success for His clear honor and glory.  His faith and trust in God was strong from a young age.

We too can practice trust in God when circumstances don't seem to be in our favor, but God is calling us to have faith in Him and trust there is a reason for what He allows in our lives.

Yesterday I had Micah's speech IEP.  He has severe delays in articulation but is actually high average in language expression and reception.  In other words, he talks all the time and also understands what is said to him, but he is having problems pronouncing the words clearly.  He is very hard to understand--even for Ryan and I who hear Micahnese all the time.  They aren't sure if it is a disconnect between mind and motor control in his mouth or if he is just needing to strengthen muscles to get some sounds he is missing.  Time will give us a better picture.

I am completely confident that this weakness of Micah's is all in God's perfect plan.  God can use this in Micah's life for so many reasons.  It could be to give Micah humility, it could be to have one of Micah's speech teachers come to repentance and faith through God using us in his or her life, it could be to grow ME in trust or humility, it could be to grow me in empathy toward families with any special education needs (I was a teacher prior to kids), it could be to show Micah that any success he has later in life is controlled and chosen completely by his Creator, or it could be to bring Micah, somehow, to salvation.  Maybe it is merely to remind us this world is flawed and failing--to have us keep an eternal hope and perspective.  These are all guesses or ideas.  We don't know, but I am confident I don't need to know but, rather, to trust.  God is sovereign in Micah's "weakness."

Wouldn't that be something if Micah was a teaching pastor someday, speaking from the stage with clear, articulate instruction from God's Word?  Who knows?  Perhaps God will allow speech to always be a struggle for Micah.  I can't control the circumstances, but I can be obedient to trust in God's plan.  God is able to allow and then overthrow any difficult circumstance.  Even if He allows the weakness to continue, as with Paul's "thorn", there is a sovereign reason.  What is your current Goliath?  Are you trusting God to be sovereign and omnipotent in every circumstance?

II Corinthians 12:7-10   "So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Women in the Word Wednesday: Second Fiddle

I was reading a small devotional* from John MacArthur the other day about humility.  He used the example of Andrew, which made me ponder church service.  Andrew was Simon Peter's brother, and we all know that Peter was an outspoken and take charge guy.  Many of us can describe Peter's personality and even quote many of his conversations with Jesus.  Because of this, Andrew often played second fiddle to his brother.  He is even described as "Simon Peter's brother" in the Bible.  (John 1:40)

However, we know that Andrew ran to tell Peter about Christ when he first encountered Jesus.  He wasn't interested in keeping the glory or discovery for himself, despite knowing his brother, Peter, would probably take center stage in any future endeavors for Christ.  Andrew had a true Philippians 2:3-4 heart--considering others better than himself. 

All of us have different gifts--some to be teachers and leaders, highly visible to others, and some to be the steady, hardworking servant behind the scenes.  Andrew was content and joyful to be the quiet follower, working hard alongside more visible and outspoken disciples.  Church tradition says that he was sharing the gospel and pleading with others to come to Christ even as he was crucified and martyred, hanging two days on an "X" shaped cross.  His eyes were off of himself, even at the end.

Where does God have you serving?  Are you one of the visible conductors in your church body, or are you quietly serving in a much less noticeable, but just as important, position?  Do you ever struggle with the desire for the glory that comes from men?  Confess any sin in this area and be encouraged!  Remember that a seemingly "second fiddle," Christian servant here on earth carries great reward and prominence in Heaven.  God values humility and contentment in our hearts as we turn all praise and sacrifice into glory for Him!

*John Macarthur's "Drawing Near" devotional, Crossway Books

Women in the Word Wednesday: Social Networking as a Christian Woman

Happy Leap Year Day, everyone!  As I am getting older, an extra day in the year seems pretty spectacular! I know it all evens out and why we have that extra day, but you know what I mean . . . I am making scripture signs every day to start up the Etsy shop, so I'm praying I can post about that in the next week!  Yay!

A couple of weeks ago, I spoke to some wives at my church about forgiveness.  It was a scary topic.  Forgiveness is the core of the gospel, so it should be forefront on our minds and in our horizontal relationships, but SO many ladies said they felt refreshed talking about it.  They felt it is a topic often ignored.  I don't know if you have heard a message on being a Christian women and forgiveness lately, but it was a convicting lesson to write.

You too can listen to the message on audio here.  I have no idea why I keep clicking my tongue on the audio--it is a nervous habit when I am pausing or thinking in the lesson--ha, ha!  I have made a note to self if they ever ask me to teach again.

Back in 2010, I wrote the following post about Christian behavior and social networking on my Helpmate blog.  I have had a couple of friends asking for the link, so I thought I'd repost it today for Women in the Word Wednesday.  Enjoy!

Philippians 2: 14-16a "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life."
Ladies, if you are reading this blog, you have more than likely joined the ever growing population of Facebookers.  This relatively "newer" area of social networking has far reaching effects.  When we post a new status update, share a picture or comment in a thread, it is read by far more people than phone calls or face to face conversations ever affected.  Within seconds, people can learn about your day, your mood, your prayer requests, your needs, your questions, or your schedule.
With this new source of information and entertainment come responsibilities.  Being Christian women, our Facebook posts should look different from those of our non-Christian friends.  I have seen many uses for Facebook, and I want to explore some of the worldly and godly behaviors that result.  I pray this discussion will help all of us to think twice about what we portray, share and tell.

I Timothy 6:6  "But godliness with contentment is great gain."
First of all, many people can use Facebook to gripe or complain.  I am guilty of this.  If one of my kids comes down with something or I have a flat tire, I want to vent on Facebook.  I want everyone to know how truly horrible my day has been.  I believe that we can be real and share requests of challenges we are facing, but we have to check our motives and the attitude we are portraying.  If we are sharing practical needs, asking for prayer and seeking God's will in a situation, we should share away!  It is when we have a negative, discontent and frustrated tone that our post has wandered into sinful territory. 
This especially applies to what we share about our husbands.  If we are unhappy that our husband is late from work, don't write on your husband's wall, "Where are you??????  Dinner is ready."  You have effectively disrespected your husband in front of hundreds of people.  If you are telling a story in which your husband did something silly or stupid, don't post it!  No spouse want his wife to belittle him in front of others.  An example of this could be as simple as posting a picture of your lobster red son and the caption, "Johnny has quite the sunburn!  Jeff forgot to pack the sunscreen on our trip to the beach. Ouch!"  This sounds silly, but, for the sake of a laugh or chuckle, you have thrown your husband under the bus.  This is not godly, respectful or loving behavior. 

Philippians 2:3 "Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves."
Besides griping and negativity, Facebook can produce feelings of jealousy and bitterness.  It sounds extreme, but, ladies, how many of you have seen a post about a girls' night out you weren't asked to attend or have seen pictures of a shower or party to which you were not invited and have felt sinful, selfish thoughts about how you have been treated?  I know there was a particular day that I was sinning in my attitude against my husband.  Of coure, satan jumped on that and all my friends seemed to post about how their husbands had bought coffee for them or let them sleep in.  Pictures of flowers "just because" popped up everywhere, and before I knew it, my bitterness and jealousy were in full bloom--fed by my sinful thoughts upon reading Facebook posts.  On the flip side of the same coin, do not use Facebook as a popularity contest.  Don't compare numbers of friends, post about every social outing you attend to make people see how "popular" and socially in demand you have become.  If you think a particular social event was limited and small, you might want to just thoughtfully mention you had a good night out with friends.  Name dropping and mentioning events so you puff yourself up in your own eyes is never becoming for a daughter of Christ.

Psalm 12:3 "May the Lord cut off all flattering lips and every boastful tongue."
II Corinthians 10:17 "But, 'Let him who boasts boast in the LORD.'"
This is a great transition to discussing how we can sin through bragging on Facebook.  We should share in great things God is doing in our lives and rejoice with our kids or hubbies when they are blessed with success.  However, again, we must check our heart motive before we post anything on our status update.  Are all our posts about how Johnny and Jane got straight A's again and got MVP of their sports team?  Do we read most of our wall and realize they talk about praising our kids, sharing our spouse's job promotion and talking about all the ways we served at church that week?  This is a gray area, and many posts of praise and rejoicing are just purely sharing good news with friends.  However, it is a fine line between that and bragging--be careful how you are portraying yourself.  A great way to check your motives is to make sure your boasts point to God.  We can better share success if we give all the credit and glory to God, making sure we know that all our abilities, blessings and possessions are His and His alone!

I John 2:10 "Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble."
Finally, a fourth area in which we must tread carefully is our reputation.  There are gray areas that might be better left off of your public wall.  Facebook can be used as a witnessing tool and way to shine light to the lost world, so you have to be overly cautious when you put anything on Facebook.  Why would you post a picture of yourself in that skimpy bikini for all of the guys who you have as friends to view?  Why would that picture of you holding a beer at that birthday party make it onto your photos?  We know that there are many activities that are not spelled out to be wrong in the Bible, but we can stumble others by parading our freedom to do these activities.  Be careful!  Your effective witness could be tarnished by a simple post that forever sticks in the mind of an unsaved friend.

Galatians 5:22-25 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other."
How should we behave?  Look at your recent posts and comments.  Are you sharing scripture?  Are you encouraging your spouse and lifting him up?  Are you encouraging a friend and strengthening her with Bible verses or sermon links?  Are you thanking the LORD for the blessings you mention in a post?  Are you, without a doubt, the aroma of Christ to those who are friends with you on Facebook?  Ladies, if we use Facebook correctly, it is one of the most wonderful opportunities to shine for God, encourage our spouse and build up friends!  Let us examine our hearts, and use Facebook, yes, even Facebook, for His glory!

Women in the Word Wednesday: Kindness

Tomorrow or Friday I should have a post about some new vinyl letters and bulletin boards I have been making for the boys, but I wanted to share something that happened on my street this morning.

I had gotten up early to work out with a friend, and right after my friend left I heard screaming outside.  I knew something was wrong, but I was upstairs with my son in the front bonus room.  I looked outside the window to see if I needed to call 911 and just find out what was happening.  Two neighbor ladies were outside, and they had their dogs.  The one neighbor was walking her small terriors on leashes, but she was in front of the other neighbor's house.  The neighbor not walking her dogs was taking her daughter to school and, upon opening the garage door, her medium sized dog (not a violent breed--a wheaton) ran out and started growling at and chasing the little dogs on the leash.  The screaming was coming from the neighbor with her dogs on a leash. 

This went on for about 20 seconds before the neighbor was able to grab her dog away and get him in the garage.  She was horrified and turned to the dog walking neighbor to apologize profusely.  The other neighbor, whose dogs had been chased, started to let a stream of cussing and hateful words come screaming from her mouth toward this lady.  She continued to walk down the street to her house, turning around every five seconds to continue screaming at this family and their unleashed dog.

What the angry neighbor did not realize (no one is extremely close on our street), is that this family she was hating and yelling at was in the midst of a terrible trial.  The husband had been rushed into emergency quadruple bipass surgery just days before Christmas and had only recently come home from the hospital.  They are in financial trial right now, and the wife is trying to run the house, take care of her two teenage kids on her own and make sure her husband is healing and not facing any of the stress.  Her naughty pooch was not a purposeful offense.  I'm sure she did not expect there to be two dogs right outside her driveway when she opened the garage door to drive her daughter to school.

I am sure she retreated into her home and sobbed.  I would have after being screamed at like that.

The whole scene upset me.  I was so sad for both of the ladies, and I dropped to my knees and prayed for them.  I prayed for peace, for love, for understanding, for patience, and for remorse.  I prayed for me too.  How often do I assume the worst in people, have no patience for mistakes or circumstances they are facing, and, though I don't scream obscenities at them, I hold bitterness or anger in my heart.  What a powerful reminder for me this morning!

The scene provided a good discussion on kindness and forgiveness with my son. 

Whether or not other people are in hard circumstances, God calls Christians to forgive.  It is just that more powerful of a reminder, though, to know that many people we face in our day are probably dealing with their own trials and stress.  How painful to know that we might be adding to someone's sadness or despair with our impatient words or looks. 

I encourage you today to have compassion and kindness for others.  It will help you heap on forgiveness and patience as you go throughout your day. 

“To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”  (Matthew 18:23-35)  C. S. Lewis

Ephesians 4:1-2  “I . . .urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love”

Women in the Word Wednesday: Saying "Forgive Me" in Marriage

         

James 5:16 "Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed."

We live in a society where there are a lot of rationalizations and excuses for bad behavior.  Sometimes we even laugh at our sin and try to make it humorous.  "I am in a bad mood!  Watch out--I don't know what I'll say!"  "I am just one of those people who tells you exactly what I'm thinking.  That's just who I am." 

Unfortunately, this kind of excusing of sin creeps into our marriage relationship too.  We lash out because of OUR bad day.  We realize later it was wrong, but we chalk it up to a bad mood and move on without bringing up our behavior.  We assume something incorrectly about our spouse, and then when we are proven wrong about our assumptions, we just think "Oh" and move on.  We forget to do something our spouse has asked us to do and, when we are asked about it, we get defensive and accusatory rather than just apologizing and admitting our error.  We correct and disrespect our spouse in front of our kids or other adults, and we think our spouse is just being "too sensitive" if they get upset.

Compare this common behavior with the godly repentance and responsibility David shows for his sin when the prophet Nathan confronts him with his sin concerning Bathsheba and Uriah.  II Samuel 12:13 says, "David said to Nathan, 'I have sinned against the LORD.'"

It seems that apologies are rare in marriages today.  Heartfelt, sincere admonitions of fault, blame and grief at our behavior are difficult, but, if we are Christian women, we should recognize sin and reconcile with those we have hurt. 

We might need to just say an "I'm sorry" for an accidental wrong or a careless misdeed, such as truly forgetting to finish that task our spouse requested.  More often, though, we need to say "forgive me for  __fill in the blank___" for those wrongs that we did deliberately, such as replying with harsh words, accusing our spouse incorrectly, or the myriad of other wrongs we might have committed against our spouse.

As Christian women, we recognize we are sinful before a holy God, and only in Christ and the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit do we have righteousness, forgiveness and good deeds.  We repent of sin and turn from our bad behavior when we fall short of what God desires.  It shouldn't be farfetched for us to see we need to humbly ask for forgiveness and take responsibility for our choices in our personal relationships, including the one with our spouse.  It is sinful pride that keeps us from reconciling with our husbands when we are wrong.  There should be no excuses--just sorrow for our behavior because we have offended our spouse, and, most importantly, God.

Do you reconcile with your spouse after a fight or those "tense" moments?  Do you say "Forgive me.  I was wrong?"  Do your kids watch you admit your shortcomings and humbly confess them to others?  Are you more concerned with your spouse's apology and then, and only then, willing to say you are "sorry?"  We should be concerned with our own part of the problem and humble ourselves first, regardless of whether our spouse is still in sin and refusing to repent.

This goes against the grain of the world.  People might see this as weak, hypercritical of self, and strange.  However, we know that the things of God will not fit in with the philosphies and actions of the world.

I Corinthians 3:18-19  "Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you thinks that he is wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is folly with God."

Let's be women quick to take responsibility for our actions and faster to recognize sin in our attitudes and behavior, especially in our marriages.  Is there something in your marriage that needs to be discussed and followed with a "forgive me?"

Women in the Word Wednesday: Someday

There is a constant conversation that happens around our house lately. 

My five year old:  "Mom, when can we go to Disneyland/go to the bounce house place/go to Legoland/take a plane ride again/etc?" (Fill in the blank with the activity of choice on his mind.)

Me:  "Well, God willing, when daddy gets a job again, we can go someday."  (I just have to stop and say I am so, so proud of my hardworking husband and how well he is using all his energy to lead his family and find work to provide for us.) 
"We'll have to wait and see what God has planned.  For now, let's be thankful for our blessings like our family, house, health, church, etc." (All the while, I'm making a note to self and checking my heart attitude too.)

Five year old: (happily) "Okay." (skips off)

You see, because my five year old trusts me with a blind kind of trust, he takes what I say as truth.  He doesn't like to wait, but he knows I love him and I will do what I can for him.  He is motivated just by the promise of a POSSIBLE someday.  He fills his heart with the hope it might happen and dreams about the possibilities.

God too tells us that blessings, rewards, justice, glory and perfection await Christians . . . someday in Heaven. Unlike mine to my five year old, God's promises are sure.  In Genesis 3, He tells us this world is broken and fallen in due to our sin. Throughout scripture, He points Christians to the definite hope we have in Heaven.

I don't like to wait. 

There are days I impatiently pout and curl my lip over in sin.  I want the pain and hard situations to end, and I am not content with the circumstances God allows to come my way.  I want justice to be served.  I want the sickness to go away.  I want everyone to be nice.  I want Heaven now.

On those days, I am not trusting God as I should, staying content as I should, or meditating on the "someday" that will be here in a blink of an eye.

Like my son trusting me, I need to better trust in God's promises and have them motivate me to live in thankfulness, contentment and obedience today--even when the circumstances are difficult.  God's promises are sure--much better than my own.

May I dwell on God's "someday" of Heaven and use God's SURE promises to get me through this life with obedience, trust, and a happy heart full of hope and confidence.

I'll experience the glories of Heaven and all will be made right because of Christ Jesus.  I know this with all confidence now, but it will be a reality to me. . . someday.

Revelation 21:1-4  Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
 

Women in the Word: Busy Lives and Spiritual Disciplines

I met my accountability partner this morning and begged for accountability for time management, especially in keeping my spiritual disciplines.  Fall routines have begun, and suddenly we are extremely busy.  It is easy to be tempted to put off Bible reading and prayer to get some stuff checked off the "to do" list first, but God has reminded me to fight that temptation.  Though I am stressed and anxious by the to dos, there is no better remedy that a mind that is fixed on His plan, peace and priorities. 

Here is a good reminder from my pastor about being diligent in obedience and spiritual disciplines, even when the flesh is weak and doesn't "feel" like obeying or participating.

Some rationalize their disregard for doing what is right because they say their “hearts are not in it” and they “don’t want to be hypocrites.” They may consider themselves to be off the hook in neglecting prayer, Bible study or church attendance because they don’t “feel it,” but of course they are not. God will not shrug his proverbial shoulders and say, “Well then, if you don’t feel it, don’t bother.” Instead of abandoning our Christian duties because we feel inauthentic, God calls us to adjust our attitude and mindset. The psalmist says of God, “You have commanded your precepts to be kept diligently” (Psalm 119:4). The Hebrew word translated “diligently” is the same word we find in Deuteronomy 6:5 where you and I are told to love the Lord “with all of our might.” It involves mental effort, gumption, determination, focus and thoughtfulness. Consider David who seems to be concerned about “going through the motions” of worship, when he turns his exhortation to his own soul and mind: “Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name” (Psalm 103:1). The neglectful are correct when they admit inauthenticity is a problem, but their proposed remedy is ruinous. We must never walk away from the Lord’s commands when we feel weak or lethargic, instead, with the Spirit’s help, we must retool and retune our hearts to sincerely and wholeheartedly engage in keeping his precepts.

Women in the Word Wednesday: Friendship: August 31, 2011

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 18:24


When my husband and I got married, we did premarital counseling at church.  The pastor quickly exposed the fact that my extrovert husband gains energy and joy from social gatherings.  I, on the other hand, am an introvert, and I reenergize and refuel from alone time.  Not only did I have to recognize this in marriage, but I have realized I had taken this fact too far in friendships.

I grew up taking friendships for granted and really not understanding the benefit of the ladies God placed in my life.  I wasn't saved, and I used friendships for my benefit.  If it took too much work, I wasn't interested in maintaining the relationship.  To be honest, I was popular in worldly terms in high school and college, but I kept people at arm's length.  I liked to have many friends on a surface level, especially as I grew older and got busier.  I always protected that alone time that I craved and idolized.

When I became a Christian at 21, I started to realize my sinfulness in friendships.  I was selfish and me oriented.  I didn't invest in others as I should and was alone too much.  It was and continues to be a growing process, but I have realized, especially as a stay at home mom, the need for Christian women to invest in the lives of some good, close, godly friends.

I have made huge gains in this area these past couple of years.  It took a friend calling me up last year and point blank telling me that I was a little intimidating to approach, but that she really wanted to be a friend with me on a deeper level.  I had been told multiple times I seemed aloof, intimidating, or even "snobby", and though I liked to think people had misinterpreted my natural tendency to be an introvert, I knew that wasn't entirely the reason.  I resolved to correct my sinful attitude regarding my friendships and to invest in some close, godly women.  When there was a season that they needed more of me than I was getting in return, that would be okay.  When they needed to chat at an inconvenient hour once in awhile, that would be okay.  I would be mindful of how I could invest in and minister to them as sisters in Christ and friends. 

The result has been a richer, deeper relationship than I thought I could have with other ladies.  The joy I feel at seeing these ladies, praying for them, sharing struggles with them and being accountable to them is amazing.  Recently, I told some friends of my desire to have a core group of Christian women to know better and to meet with regularly.  Every single woman responded with relief that I said it first and that she wanted the same thing.  So many Christian ladies are lonely and worn out, needing encouragement and friends.

We live in a society that teaches us to be strong, to compete with other women, and to act like we have it all together (if you let your guard down, you'll be hurt).  How refreshing to know that God wants us to give of ourselves and love other women with Christ's love.  He wants us to be real, confess our sin to one another and to have godly examples who will admonish and encourage us.  Yes, there will be times when they disappoint me, hurt my feelings or sin against me; but I know I will sadly do this too.  A deep, godly friendship will repent, reconcile and move forward in forgiveness--becoming stronger as we grow in the likeness of Christ together.

I know not every woman struggles with this.  Some people need to actually spend LESS time investing in friendships and more time prioritizing God, husband and kids.  If you are like me, though, I urge you to step out of your selfish comfort zone and identify some women whom you would like to know better.  Get on the phone, schedule some talks with them and start investing in them.  God will bless you as you consider others better than yourself!

Ask yourself: 
Do you make time to invest in friendship with other godly women?
Do you have friends with whom you are real but who spur you on in godliness?
Do you have women in your life who you are discipling and women in your life who mentor you?
Do you pray for friends--real, invested prayers (the kind where you rejoice when they do and mourn with them in grief)?

An Optimistic Faith

Romans 8:28 doesn't mean life will be perfect or easy.  The "good" it talks about is God's glory and our holiness, and sometimes that can happen through some painful experiences.  Christians know God is sovereign and loving, and even when life hurts, our faith keeps us hopeful and trusting.

My pastor wrote a great blog about this last spring.  Enjoy the encouragement:

"Faith in Christ as we walk through this life can easily be mistaken for optimism. Don’t misunderstand, faith is not some worldly pie-in-the-sky glee. It is instead, a thoughtful confidence that our God is in charge of everything in our lives and his sovereign purpose for us will prevail. The words of Romans 8:28 (“God works all things together for good”) are not a license to live recklessly, but a reminder that the twists in the road “for those who love him” are adjustments that God has ordained to take us where he intends. We can be confident that God not only “called us according to his purpose” but he is actively using a variety of means to accomplish it. Where does that leave us? Looking pretty optimistic! We love him, he directs our lives and we entrust the outcome to him. So shun the temptation to fret or complain, and keep trusting our King!"
- Pastor Mike Fabarez  (March 15, 2011)

WITWW: Kindergarten Lessons: 8-18-11

Along with many moms this time of year, I am asking myself, "Where did the time go?"  My oldest is starting kindergarten, but it seems like just a few weeks ago I was changing his diapers, walking him around the house during his fussy hour and picking up spilled cheerios from his snacky cup. 
I am so proud of how much he has matured and grown.  He is a very active little boy, and he has gained much in the area of self control and discernment. 
Like other moms, I'll get weepy and sentimental when I drop him off at his first day of school this year.  I will grieve the loss of my baby and my dependent little guy, but I'll also realize it is a natural progression that God allows. 
From the day he was born, my son has slowly been growing physically, emotionally, and, I pray, in the knowledge of God; so he can leave my home and live life on his own someday.  God blesses us with children "on lease".  They are His, and He entrusts us to train them, love them, and help them gain independence so He can use them in their own lives--apart from mom and dad.
Included in being a godly mom is realizing I am not in control of their lives--God is.  From each sickness God allows to their safety; from which teacher they get to which friends are in their class or lives; and from which subject they love to which lessons might be a struggle, God has ordained it all ahead of time. 
God gave me a very enthusiastic, loving, energetic little boy five and a half years ago.  He is using each of my son's apparent "strengths" and "weaknesses" for His glory and to train him up so He can use him in specific moments of time and in specific situations.  It is just the beginning as I let go of his little hand, wave goodbye and watch the kindgergarten door close.  I'm fairly sure I'll have to hold back tears, but, in all this, I am thankful and confident God is in control.

Psalm 28:7
The LORD is my strength and my shield;in him my heart trusts, and I am helped;my heart exults,and with my song I give thanks to him.

Women in the Word Wednesday: PRAYER, August 10, 2011

I apologize for the delay in posting the prayer lesson I gave back in July to some women at my church.  It was just posted yesterday on the church website. 
I gave a lesson on the privelege and effectiveness of prayer.  I spoke on the need for both concentrated and conversational prayer, the excitement we need to have about the privelege of prayer, the help in structuring prayer with the acronymn ACTS (adoration, confession, thanksgiving and supplication), the need to align our hearts to God's will, and the power and change that God can bring when it is His will to do so.

It is an easy, straightforward lesson.  You can click on the audio link and listen while browsing on your computer. 

If you click a link soon, you can merely click http://www.compasschurch.org/wbs/sermons and then click the "play" arrow.  If you click on the link after August 2011, you will need to go to http://www.compasschurch.org/women/ and then click on "previous sermons" on the right.  Then, browse the sermon archives.  The lesson should be called "Foundations:  Prayer Basics from July 2011" or something to that manner. 

Enjoy!  I pray this blesses you as much as it grew me in understanding prayer!

Women in the Word Wednesday: Spiritual Brothers and Sisters

This is from the archives of November 2007.

But, brothers, when we were torn away from you for a short time (in person, not in thought), out of our intense longing we made every effort to see you. For we wanted to come to you—certainly I, Paul, did, again and again—but Satan stopped us. For what is our hope, our joy, or the crown in which we will glory in the presence of our Lord Jesus when he comes? Is it not you? Indeed, you are our glory and joy. I Thessalonians 2:17-20

Before I was a Christian, I was attending UCLA and a member of the Alpha Phi sorority. We would sing a song every year at rush to the tune of the famous song, "We are family. I got all my sisters and me!" With a big smile and heartfelt hugs, we would belt out the song to the girls in rush, and then, when the girls who were shopping for a sorority were gone, we would wipe the smiles from our faces and separate into our own little, comfortable group of friends. We weren't quite the family we were hypocritically portraying to the outside world.

Pastor Bobby Blakey did a sermon at church this weekend on 1 Thessalonians 2:17-20. He entitled it "Church is a Family: Seeing Each Other as Brothers and Sisters in Christ." He made the point that Christians are all born again into the same family: the family of God. We are, therefore, brothers and sisters. The Greek word, brother, or bretheren, is adelphos. This is derived from delphus, or womb. As Christians, we are spiritually born again from the same "womb"/Father. Because of this, we should be passionate in loving, caring for and helping one another, just as we might help our own brother and sister from growing up in our biological family.

He layed out some practical ideas that challenged us all to show care and concern for our bretheren. Some examples were being at church on time, getting together consistently and often, and making sure to know what is going on in other people's lives. Face to face contact is ideal, but, when that is impossible or delayed, he said we sometimes need to call, e-mail or even read one another's websites/blogs! I knew I would someday get endorsed for spending time blogging!

Seriously, however, we need to find ways to love one another and invest in the lives of the brothers or sisters we encounter. Along with the great ideas that Pastor Bobby illustrated to the church, I thought of some others. Why don't we all park in the least desirable spots in the lot, thus allowing some frazzled bretheren, driving in at the last minute, to have a close spot? As our church is getting more crowded, why don't we take seats in the sanctuary that aren't the best or the preferred spots, thus freeing up spaces for others that are ideal? Instead of putting our Bible next to us on the chair, we should keep it on our lap, allowing another person to possibly sit immediately next to us during the service. Perhaps we might even strike up a conversation with him or her. We can, of course, be passionate about others and show them love in many tangible, practical ways. Volunteer in childcare so a couple can hear the Word of God without interruption and worry. Remember a person's birthday by taking him or her to lunch or sending them an e-card. Bring someone a meal and include a list of helpful scripture. Burn a C.D. full of songs that speak to a trial that a person is facing. Pray for the person who is needing comfort, and mention the prayer and ask for an update on the trial when you talk to them. Visit the new mom or sick person in the hospital, and bring an appropriate treat with you--an In n Out burger or a Ruby's milkshake, flowers, scripture upon which they can meditate, comfy socks, a scented candle, etc. Be creative! Babysit for that mom on bedrest or the couple who can't do date nights because they are low on funds. There are a million ways you can purposefully serve and love the body of Christ, just as you would love and be there for a biological sibling.

Pastor Bobby went on to mention that Satan kept Paul from revisiting the Thessalonians. In fact, Satan hates the unity of the church and the love we show for one another. We are being foolish if we don't think he is working against us in our efforts. The sermon mentioned time, money and distance/effort as the three big roadblocks that keep us from being close to our church family. If time is an issue, write out a schedule of your day--hour by hour. Look at how much time is actually "me" time--napping, reading for pleasure, watching T.V., being on the computer, shopping, etc. Make a goal to take one of those selfish roadblocks in your schedule away. DVR that television show so you can go to Bible study, cut your nap short by half an hour so you can make a phone call, or tell yourself you cannot turn on the computer until you have written that encouragement card to your brother or sister in Christ.

If money is a roadblock, look at your budget. Perhaps sacrificing eating out one time a month or not getting that pedicure or new pair of jeans would allow you to buy groceries for that family who is out of work. Maybe such sacrifice will help you afford ingredients to make a nice dinner for that couple who is new in your small group study and you want to invite into your home. If distance is a problem, think about how you can turn your negative attitude into a positive one. Use the driving time to make a thanks list to God, call that member of your old Bible study to see how she or he is doing, or to pray to or worship our Heavenly Father as you drive the commute.

Many of us, myself included, have our plates full. We are trying to balance quiet times and the ministries to our spouse, family, and church body. To ask us to take our involvement and effort with bretheren to a higher level is overwhelming and, at first, paralyzing. However, our ministries do not have to be isolated and separate. Intertwine your commitments and service, as they are not always exclusive. Combine part of your heart training of your child by working in their classroom, their high school or junior high group, or their AWANA program. This allows you time as a parent, time to minister to the church body, and time to get to know bretheren. Be a part of the Thrive marriage ministry on Thursday nights. This is a great way to minister to your spouse and marriage, while getting to know bretheren at church in a real and wonderful way. Take a member of the church body through the Partners program, which gives you an opportunity to further your study of scripture, serve the church, and disciple a brother or sister at Compass Bible Church. During your long commute to church, use the time to minister to your family and spend one on one time with them. If you bring someone a meal, have your children help make the dish or create a card for the person. You are teaching them to serve and love others, while also ministering to and loving a brother or sister in the church body. Be a ministry leader in a home group or church Bible study, allowing yourself time to get to know others and train yourself in the doctrine of scripture. There are so many creative ways to combine your time and efforts, as God wants us to be fruitful in all areas. Pray and see where the Holy Spirit leads you. Remember it isn't easy, and we have to make it a priority and a goal. Satan wants us to give up, but we must resist his tactics and barriers. James 4:7 urges, "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."

What a wonderful message Pastor Bobby gave to the church body this Sunday! He truthfully explained God's word and gave us all much to contemplate and apply. What strikes me most, is he that he and his family are walking the walk he preaches, which speaks even more powerfully to the congregation. May we all love our church family like Christ loves us--with passion, sincerity, sacrifice and forgiveness. As Pastor Bobby reminded us, may we delight in these relationships to the end. May you, my brothers and sisters, truly be my glory and joy as I run the race God prepares for me.

Women in the Word Wednesday: Holiness, 7-20-11

This is from my archives/my old blog:  10-05-07

Preparing for an upcoming women's Bible study, I was studying the passage of I Peter 1:13-21. The theme of the passage is holiness. It says,

"Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not confrom to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. but just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: 'Be holy, because I am holy.' Since you call on a Father who judges each man's work impartially, live your lives as strangers here in reverent fear. For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious bloodof Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake. Through him you believe in God, who
raised him from the dead and glorified him, and so your faith and hope are in
God."

Holiness. It is a word that seems anything but us. That is because, unfortunately, it is often the case. However, as this passage explains, we should strive to identify with and master the practice of holiness. We have God's example and Spirit to help us. Are we actively seeking such holiness in our lives?

First, we are told, in verse 13, to prepare our minds for action and to control ourselves. This is not an exercise in passivity. We must prepare ourselves by knowing God's will, rules and characteristics. Think of all the tests or sports for which you might have prepared yourself over the years. Hopefully, you did not spend 5 minutes reviewing notes or running laps and think, "I hope I can pray tonight that God will help me in this area and I will succeed tremendously tomorrow." More than likely, you spent hours studying, days training, or even years preparing yourself for an ultimate goal. Not that God can't do it alone, but He asks that we seek Him and run the race in perserverance. Are we putting that kind of effort into attaining holiness?

This sounds hard. It is. It is work, but our hope in our salvation and grace before God's throne should give us joy, motivation and endurance in the midst of the training.  Plus, when we are obediently pursuing righteousness, God is there providing the correct heart, motivation and strength.  The fact our sin is nailed to the cross, paid in full by Christ, and we are a new creation in Him should give us the realization that He will not abandon us in the pursuit of holiness. 

God tells us we can't expect to be holy if we conform to the world. (verse 14) This is such a convicting statement for all of us. We might pride ourselves on not partying, swearing, stretching our credit cards, or cheating on our taxes, but how much of a stranger are you in society? Do you know what characters are on that television show you shouldn't be watching? Do you read gossip magazines or watch media shows on television that might qualify as gossip? What line do you draw when going to or renting a movie? The line should be pure holiness.

You might say, "I can't ever see a movie then! Hollywood doesn't make movies that are holy!" Well, there might be a very, very select few, but, perhaps this means we shouldn't be joining in this practice if we can't be holy in doing it. Believe me, this is a scary thought for me. I love to be a chair potato and watch movies to relax. However, holiness is not about comfort. It is all about sacrificing the pleasures of this world and wanting to please the Father we adore and love.

The verses tell us to fear God. (verse 17) We need to realize that holiness is a command, not a polite, passive request. We also need to recognize God's qualities. Think of the strongest, most mighty thing you can imagine--a gigantic mountain in the Sierras, the roaring ocean, a thunder and lightning storm, a howling hurricane, a screaming tornado, a hissing, spitting volcano of lava and ash, an angry earthquake, a scorching sun, the chasms of the Grand Canyon, or a vast, unexplorable universe. These are God's creation. Think of who He must be in order to speak and create such wonders. We don't fear God enough because we don't take the time to understand His capabilities, His characteristics and qualities. This affects our obedience and urgency when we error in our understanding of who God really is.

What will you do to pursue holiness today? You recognize, if you are a Christian, that Christ painfully poured out His life and rose again, in order that you and I might be reconciled to our mighty Creator. (verses 18-19) Our humble thankfulness and love should spur immediate action. Make a plan with specific details. Cut out that television show, throw away the magazine with gossip that enslaves you, change the conversation when a friend starts disparaging another friend, tell a friend to hold you accountable to not practicing a particular bad habit, and PRAY FOR GOD'S HELP in revealing sin and giving you motivation and strength to change the error into holy behavior.

Be holy because He is holy. He is our precious, all-powerful, loving, righteous, merciful, gracious, perfect, all-knowing, all-present, eternal, unchanging, and HOLY God. Be holy because He asks you to be. That is motivation enough.  In the light of the cross and what He paid for us, the motivation is MORE than enough.

Women in the Word Wednesday: July 13, 2011

Today I gave my teaching on prayer for the women at church.  It went really well, and next week I should be able to actually post the lesson's audio, and you will be able to listen to me teach about prayer.  It was an encouragement to prepare the lesson, so I pray it encouraged women to talk to God more regularly.

Since I have been BUSY with lesson preparation and getting ready for Camp Compass (VBS) for next week at our church, I will share a blog entry from my pastor today.  He speaks of the mistake of trying to "fit in" to the detriment of your relationship with Christ and the truths of the Bible.  Have a great week living boldly for Him!!!

Pastor Mike Fabarez:
Rejection hurts. And unfortunately our Christianity increases the likelihood that we will encounter it more often. Part of the cost of “taking up our cross” and “following Jesus” is the harsh reality of “bearing the disgrace he bore” (Heb.13:13). As Jesus himself said: “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first” (Jn.15:18). It is a vain hope to expect the favor of Christ and the accolades of everyone else at the same time. “Woe to you when all men speak well of you,” Jesus warned (Lk.6:26). Amid the pain of rejection, our challenge is to learn to value and cherish the approval of Christ more than the acceptance of those around us. But that, of course, is easier said than done – especially when the rejection comes from those we love. In the lyrics of his inspired song, David is resolute as he sings: “Though my father and mother forsake me, Yahweh will receive me” (Ps.27:10). While we can expect the pain, we can also anticipate the incomparable treasure of being embraced by the King of kings and Lord of lords!

Women in the Word Wednesday: Almost a Christian: 6-28-11

         

I was going to share my testimony on today's post, but I don't have the time this week to give it the thought and care it should have.  I want to share it with you all soon!  However, I wanted to share some amazing sermons with you this week. 

Part of my testimony was realizing that I wasn't a Christian until I was 21, despite growing up in a Evangelical Christian home, attending church and youth group regularly, participating in AWANA, going on missions trips to build houses and teach the poor children Bible lessons in Spanish, singing on stage at church, and being a relatively "good"/straight A, upstanding kid. 

A lot of us who grow up in Christian homes and are people pleasers/good kids, don't see huge flashing signs of not being saved.  It is difficult to understand our sin and need for a Savior when others tell us we are saved (usually because we said a prayer of acceptance at age 3-5--which isn't Biblical, by the way--more on that later), we see evidence of doing the "right thing" at school and at home, and we know all the Biblical answers.

However, it takes repentance and understanding of our wretchedness before a holy God to understand the right gospel.  We also need to fully submit and give our lives to God, while trusting Christ's work on the cross paid for our sin completely.  We should be living for Him, not ourselves.  For me, it took a liberal college, sinful habits and some time for God to reveal Christ wasn't really my Savior. 

Just believing God is full of love and grace is only part of the picture.  We also need to understand His holiness, our sin, and our eternal judgement.  Then, we can appreciate the love and grace of the cross. 

If you grew up in a Christian home, but you find patterns of ongoing sin, hardness of heart to wanting to change sinful habits, or just no desire to have a flourishing relationship with Christ each day, listen to these sermons below. Even if you don't notice these issues, listen to these sermons, as they are life changing!  They will help you in future discussions with others.

They are called, Almost a Christian, and my pastor does a great job of illustrating how even a churched non-Christian can have conviction and moments where God works in their lives.  He calls churched non-Christians "daters of Christ" (no full commitment) and Christians "married to Christ."  This is a great analogy for any of you gals out there who, like me, might have had a guy or two dating you in your 20's but who wouldn't fully submit to the idea of marriage and had some commitment issues.  We know there is a BIG difference!

Anyway, the listen is free, and you can listen while you type or work or do chores.  Whatever you do, take a listen! 

Pastor Mike Fabarez, Compass Bible Church in Aliso Viejo, California.  You can listen to most of his sermons on Focal Point Radio Ministry.

Almost a Christian, Parts 1-4 (You can see the whole list, while each is a separate link on this page).
Amost a Christian Part 1:  Watching Out for the Pacifying Benefits of Dating Christ
Almost a Christian Part 2:  Taking a Closer Look at Spiritual Defection
Almost a Christian Part 3: Examining the difference that really matters
Almost a Christian Part 4:  Making Absolutely Sure we Don't Miss it

Women in the Word Wednesdays: Mom Words: 6-22-11

         
I saw the pattern when I was teaching.  The kids would walk into the classroom in the morning, and I'd have tons of patience and energy.  My instructions would sound like this:  "Boys and girls, have a seat."  "Johnny, your homework folder is supposed to be out on your desk.  Please get it out."  "Yes, Susie, you can sharpen your pencil, but try not to break it again." (for the 10th time in an hour).  "Charlie, when you sneeze, you need to cover your mouth.  Now Mrs. H needs to go wash her hands" (and face and clothes). 

By the end of the day, my instructions sounded more like this (raise voice volume by about 3X the previous volume):  "Boys and girls, SIT DOWN!  We now have 2 minutes off of recess.  Get your act together!"  "Johnny, I have given this direction about 3 times now.  Why in the world are you still doing math?  Look around you at the boys and girls who were listening and see what you should be doing." (sarcasm slightly dripping off this last speech).  "Susie, I don't understand why no other person in the class has to sharpen their pencil 5 times during writing.  SIT DOWN!  If you can't figure it out without getting up again to sharpen your pencil then you can do it for homework."  "Charlie, you are 8 years old.  You should know that you don't rub snot on your hand or arm and then touch everything.  Go get a Kleenex and then wash your hands.  None of us want to catch your cold." 

Sigh.  Now that I'm a mom, I notice this pattern at home.  In the morning my boys meet patient, quiet mom who disciplines with firmness but gentleness.  By 4:00, (really right before naps around 1:00), I turn into grumplestilkskin mom (we call my son grumplestilkskin to get a smile from him when he is grumpy and in a bad mood) and sin with impatience, anger and sarcasm in my words.

Am I alone in this?  I doubt it.  The Bible tells us that if we can control our tongue, we can control our whole body!  "For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body." James 3:2  God recognizes this is a hard area of obedience.

Controlling our speech is difficult, but God STILL asks us to be righteous in what we say.  If He is Lord of our lives, we are representing Him to others, and yucky words can ruin His reputation.  We cannot reach this righteousness on our own.  However, we have the Holy Spirit to sanctify us in this area.  We will become more and more grieved at our sin in this area--not hardening our hearts to the conviction we feel when we are rude or hurt others.  We will REPENT of our sinful words and ask for forgiveness from those we have hurt and especially from God.  We will pursue wisdom in this are from God's Word and seek help in prayer. 

God tells us a clear guideline for talking.  Ephesians 4:29 says, "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."  Hmmmm.  There isn't any gray area here.  If you are not encouraging or building up someone, giving grace to the person(s) hearing your words, then you are sinning in your speech.  We are not to slander, gossip, complain, gripe, swear, whine, lash out in anger, repay hurt with words in order to get justice, belittle, etc. 

I'm thinking--when will I speak?  Speaking less is a good thing if I can't control my tongue!  Ecclesiastes 5:2 says, "Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth. Therefore let your words be few."  However, God still wants encouraging words to come from our mouths.  Pray for the person who hurts you.  Leave it there--don't complain and share the situation with everyone.  Tell the person who does a good job or who shows obedience to God that you see God growing them to His glory!  Confess your discontent heart to God and ask for Him to teach you patience and trust in all circumstances. Admonish in love and encourage in love--with a godly filter.

You get the picture.  Let's work on this together!  Find a friend who can hold you accountable and ask you how you did each day.  If possible, find a friend who struggles LESS than you in this area.  It is easy to excuse one another if you both are failing to live up to God's commands in this area.  I'll be praying for you all and, of course, for my own growth in this area!

Photo credit: cc license: ninasaurusrex on Flickr, 2008

Women in the Word Wednesdays: Compromise (From the Archives)

I have been fairly busy with meetings and planning for Camp Compass (our VBS), and I have been writing my lesson for my prayer lesson I'm giving at WBS in July.  So, today, you get to read one of my posts from January, 2009.  It uses the story of Lot to illustrate the slow deception of compromise and the repurcussions of falling prey to it.

January 2009

Each year, I follow our church's Read through the Bible in a year schedule, but this year, I am going "high-tech" and following the reading on-line. The advantage to this is that I can leave and read comments regarding the passage. I am spurred on by all the insight people leave regarding a chapter of the Bible I have read before. It is opening my eyes to new application and new ways God is teaching me His truths. If this sounds interesting to you, you can go to http://www.compasschurch.org/ and just click on Daily Bible Reading.

A few days ago, I was doing the daily Bible reading in Genesis 19. This is the story of Lot and the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. Poor Lot is definitely not a Hebrews 11 Hall of Faith character. In fact, upon reading I was struck anew with the amount of compromised obedience he displayed to God.

It all begins back in Genesis 13, when Lot selfishly picks the choice Valley of the Jordan as his dwelling when he and Abram separate. Though the land is lush, before the sulfur and fire from heaven fall on it, it is filled with wicked, sinful cities and people--mainly Sodom and Gomorrah. "Abram settled in the land of Canaan, while Lot settled in the cities of the valley, and moved his tents as far as Sodom. Now the men of Sodom were wicked exceedingly and sinners against the LORD." (vv. 12-13)

The first compromise of Lot is that he knowingly settles in the most sinful and corrupt area of Sodom. He could have set himself apart in the valley, away from the cities, but, by the time chapter 19 happens, he is out of his tents and living in the midst of the city in a house with his family. This initial decision, that might seem a small compromise, changes the whole course of his and his family's future.

In chapter 19, God mercifully sends two angels, in the form of men, to warn Lot and his family of God's impending destruction of Sodom. We find that Lot still has a moral compass and a sense of right, for, before he knows their mission, he begs the "strangers" to lodge overnight in his home to ensure their safety. Even at this effort, the evil men of the city come to Lot's home to have homosexual relations with the strangers. Though the angels inflict the mob with blindness, they grope for the door of Lot's house to commit their atrocity.

Another example of Lot's compromise is offering his daughters to the mob in the place of the angels, or "strangers". (Genesis 19: 7-8) Though his intentions were noble, his offer was not. Luckily, the angels save Lot and his daughters from this horrible offer and bring Lot to safety in the house before they strike the men outside with blindness.

Because of Lot's earlier compromises, we find his daughters engaged to faithless men who do not believe that God is going to destroy Sodom. Lot has reared his family in the middle of a sinful and corrupt city. His wife has also been affected by the influences around her, and she does not obey the command to flee without looking back--a sign that her heart was bound in the trappings of the sinful city around her and that she did not have a proper fear and understanding of God. As a result, she is made into a pillar of salt, and Lot loses his wife. (v. 26)

Also, we see Lot compromise as he flees Sodom. First, he drags his feet in obedience. The angels urge him and his family to hurry as morning dawns. We are told in verse 16, "But he hesitated." God mercifully forgives his lack of obedience and the angels take them forcibly by the hands and drag them away. Finally, the angels clearly tell him to not settle anywhere in the valley but to flee to the mountains. Lot obeys with conditions. He offers up a little city of Zoar as a possible safe stop. God allows this, again being merciful. However, the chapter goes on to say that after the fire and brimstone wiped out Sodom and Gomorrah, Lot was afraid and stayed in the mountains God had commanded at the beginning. It appears that Lot did not have a proper fear and understanding of God's holiness, judgment and power until he witnessed the furious wipeout of his resident cities.

Lot's compromises and choices continue to plague him, as his daughters, not trained in the righteousness of God, fail to trust God's plan and provision and sleep with their own father to further their family line. (vv. 30-38) The resulting progeny, the Moabites and Ammonites, become longstanding enemies of Israel, God's chosen people.

Reading chapter 19 of Genesis gave me pause to think of all the times I obey God with conditions or compromise. Perhaps I submit to my husband only after I throw some "attitude" his way. Maybe I do my quiet time that day, but it comes after I relax, blog, e-mail and place it way down on my priority list. I might tithe or offer a financial gift, but it is given pridefully or, oppositely, with anxiety and withholding. This all brings to mind a quote often given by my pastor, which I use often with Carter. "Delayed obedience is disobedience." This leads me to realize, compromise is really a subtle way of not obeying at all. May I learn from the sad example of Lot and realize that compromise has repurcussions and will affect myself and others when I stray from the will of my Heavenly Father.